God WILL lift up your head.

Give to the wind your fears. Hope; be undismayed. God hears your sighs and counts your tears. God will lift up, God will lift up... lift up your head.

Aren't you glad God doesn't answer our selfish prayers? Aren't you glad He gives us what we need, and not what we think we need? ...No? Yeah, me neither.

But seriously. If God answered every prayer I prayed, I'd be in rough shape. In fact it seems like the one He keeps answering is that same one I prayed months ago. "God, show me I can trust You." I guess in a way, that was kind of a selfish prayer. But it was a prayer out of fear and uncertainty. Everything else had proved to be untrustworthy, so God was the only one left to turn to. So maybe God honors even a tiny bit of trust in Him. Even if it is out of desperation.

Leave to His sovereign sway to choose and to command. Than shall we wandering on His way know how wise and how strong, how strong is His hand.

I still seem to think I know what's best for me. I still seem to think that I know when things should happen and how they should happen. I beginning to think that maybe God isn't afraid to let us go through hard times, because He knows it will make us stronger. Ok, maybe I've been thinking that for a while now. But I need to remind myself.

I think that the more we choose to trust in His timing and plan, the more we begin to believe that we are safe in doing so. That doesn't mean the way is easy. It definitely won't be what we expect. But He knows the best way, and He will help us trust that.

Through waves and clouds and storms He gently clears the way. Wait 'cause in His time so shall this night soon end in joy.

God has brought me though some tough times. That's no secret. I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but here's the question I have to ask myself: what if He could be all I need? What if I could be completely satisfied in Him and not need anything else? No emotional or financial stability... nothing. I don't know. Right now, he is helping me with all of those things. But what if He didn't? Could I still trust Him? I hope so.

But, He is faithful over and over. He cares for us. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)

Trust in Him even when it's hard. Because you can. He's proved it to me.

Journeys

Well, I finally finished "Wild Goose Chase." It took me forever, but that's mostly because I kept forgetting to read it. But it was kind of a good thing that it took me so long. I started it back in May. I started reading it at the house I stayed in this summer with my friend Garrett. I opened it again at other times during the summer... in a car on the way back from a mission trip in Florida, on an airplane, on a train, and now in my room here in Wake Forest, NC. Finishing this book the other night brought back a flood of memories from the past four and a half months. God has brought many different places. It's been an interesting journey!

The journeys we go on are always interesting. That's the best way I have to describe them. At the time, we experience all kinds of emotions. Some of them we don't understand. Alright, I don't really understand any of them. But that's besides the point. We may feel sadness, confusion, pain. We may feel joy and comfort. Sometimes we feel them all at the same time. A lot of the time, we can't decide what we feel. Or what we think. It's times like this that remind me to stop trusting in myself.

"I have not been abandoned, no I have not been deserted and I have not been forgotten.

I need You.
I need You here, I need You now.
I need security somehow.
I need You.
Like you would not believe.
You're the only thing I want, cause You're everything I need."

Sometimes we just need to cry out these words. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that we need Him. When I say these words, I'm definitely not telling God anything He doesn't already know. When God takes us on difficult and interesting journeys, He does it for His glory. He does it to help us become who we were meant to be. And I believe that starts when we admit that we can't do it without Him.