We're control freaks, aren't we? We would really like to be in complete control of our situations, even when we've seen that fail over and over again.
My continual prayer is that I would give up control. Every day I wake up and I think about the decisions I will make and how they will affect me and those around me. There are some things that are up to me: Will I give today to God and devote myself to carrying His name? Will I treat people with love? These things are internal. They are based on my actions and how I respond to my emotions. But there are so many things outside of myself that I have absolutely no control over, and it is these that I seem to always fight for. Why? Don't I know that God, who spoke a word and created the universe, is in control of all of it?
I am praying today that God would soften my heart to relinquish control of things I have no control over, and that I would follow Him wherever He leads.
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2 comments:
You know...it's interesting to look at big struggles and triumphs in a relationship with God and to see that so many of them are not singular occurrances. I have found that many such things would be better classified as processes than events.
Surrender, for me at least, is a process. It is often a process for me to let go, and even when I have, I will likely revert back to my human need to control and need to surrender again. The work of relinquishing control is never-ending.
I don't know what you are referring to in particular, but you are right. There is a desire within us to try to control even the things that we cannot. I almost think a harder issue, though, can be the things that we do have control over (or perceived control). In these situations we have to make a choice to give things over to God, and it is painfully difficult sometimes. I have the same thought....the God who created the world and rules the universe-he also knows every hair on my head and cares about every nuance of my heart and life....and yet I have trouble trusting. That must be nonsense in the truest form. Francis Chan has this video called "The Awe Factor of God" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpChZxPfa-c) Every time I watch that, I am entirely blown away by the truth and scope and power of my God. It wrecks my pride.
I have something in my life right now that I am praying over, and I have a decision to make. I have, several times, given it over to God. But I was sitting praying last night, stressing over what to do, and realized that I was, yet again, in sinful control. Why? I don't know. If we truly and wholly trust God, then I guess we should never be stressed because we know he wants only his best for us and has promised that he will never leave nor forsake. Isn't it amazing how we can know God so clearly and still need constant reminders?
Thanks for the comment, Ashlyn! That's really good. I appreciate your thoughts.
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