Trust

I've been reading a book given to me by my good friend John Mark. Mark Batterson is the pastor of a church in Washington DC, and writer of the book Wild Goose Chase. His book has many insights on following the direction of the Holy Spirit. This book has taken me all summer to read, which has been a good thing. My slow reading has enabled God to use this book in my life to teach me things exactly when I need to hear them.

I have talked a lot about trusting God with everything lately. I believe that's because it's my biggest problem, and what God is actively trying to help me overcome this summer. For as long as I can remember in my walk with the Lord, I have trusted in myself far too much. Things have always seemed to mostly go my way, and I usually credit that to my own abilities. In the past few months, God has been breaking me of this. Here is the next example.

I did something this morning that I have not done in a very long time. I dropped a check in the offering plate at church. I assure you, this was not because I have a surplus in my account. It was definitely not because I am completely debt free.

I think it was just an act of trust.

Last week I was reading Batterson's book. He began to talk about tithing, and one phrase stuck out to me.

"God can do more with 90 percent than I can do with 100 percent."

Tithing is trusting, he says. I realized when I dropped that check in the offering plate that God was going to have to provide for some needs that I may have given up with that money. But there is something freeing about giving up what you do not have. Please know that I had a difficult time dropping that check in the plate this morning. I almost hoped the usher would not turn around and see me standing behind him with my hand out, holding my small, folded piece of paper. In fact, I don't even know if the ushers have ever turned to the praise team with an offering plate.

Until today.

As if God was screaming at me, saying "it's ok, you can trust Me" one of our ushers turned and looked right at me. I never knew that little prayer I prayed back in March would have such an impact on my life. When I asked God to show me I could trust Him, I never expected that He would still be answering my prayer four months later.

Maybe I should be more careful what I ask for! Or maybe those are the dangerous kinds of prayers that God longs for us to pray. Maybe He wants to show us how much more joy we could have. If only we would let Him more often.